My Blog

Dear friends, have you ever ask this question? I believe we only ask this question when something’s not right, that applies to me too. But now, my wedding to this beautiful girl is just 1 month away. I’m asking this question again… WHY ME???

Well, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suffering from the so call "Marriage Fear Symtom", it’s just seems too good to be true, that I’ve found myself. Yeah… I mean ‘myself’, no typo… You see, I’m not a perfect man, I have my weakness. But when I look at SyinNi, she has what I don’t have (I mean mentally). And together we are whole.

By asking "Why me?" when something good happens makes you reflect your weakness and appreciate what you have. And enjoy every moment you had.

Again I’m asking, Why me? God, why do you keep the best girl for me? Am I worthy? I guess that doesn’t matter. What matters most is that I have to live at the present moment, not just live, but enjoy and be joyous. Thanks God, for this wonderful beautiful woman that you’ve sent to me.

Recently SyinNi and I went to Pre-marriage course, the facilitator throw us a question, what is Love. Then I start thinking, what is LOVE, is it the heart bumping feeling? Is it the ‘butterfly in stomach’ feeling? Then I ask myself, how do I love SyinNi?

I’m patient to her,  I share everything with her, I do not envy what she has achieve or what she has, I take care of her, I am supportive to everything that is good for SyinNi, I want her to be happy. So what do these all mean?

LOVE is not just a feeling, it’s a decision, to be thoughtful of your partner, to be forgiving, to make your partner happy, to take care of your partner. Yeah, everyone knows that, but what keeps us from doing that? Or what keeps us from doing better than what we’ve done? I, me, ego, self-center ….

I always ask SyinNi, how much do you think I love you, she would say, "Very very very much." And I would say, "But I’ve not done enough." I want to love her more, in saying so, what I really mean was I want to change myself, to have a smaller me and bigger SyinNi.

I’ve seen many cases where loving couple break up, and they turn up being enermies. I’ve also seen cases where after break up, 1 party keeps on bugging the other, ‘just’ to become ‘friends’ or should I say to ‘beg’ for love.

I am not saying that they are wrong in keeping the one that they think is the right person. I’m saying that you should let your partner decide what is best for himself or herself. If his or her decision hurts, unfair to you and you think that he or she is selfcentered, selfish and never think of you, forgive them. Shouldn’t that love is? Give everything that is best for your love one, forget his or her wrong-doings. Even if it hurts you so much.

If you tell me that you can’t even do the very simple thing of love. Then it means you do not have love for him or her at all.

But why??? Why there are so many people out there still ‘cling’ on the partner to ‘beg’ for ‘love’ when they don’t really love them? Ego and selfish is the word.

Too often, we are blinded by our ego, we hypnotise ourselves in beliving something that is not true. In this case, some people actually hypnotise themselves in believing that they’re so much in love with the other person, just because of ego. They do not like being dumped, they think they have given up a lot, but they do not get appreciated. Hey, stop there, again, we all know that you don’t look for return in love.

Too often, I look around, I see friends suddently smoke and drink, make their own life miserable. I tell you my friend, deep down inside, you know you should not do that. But why doing that?

It is because of the TV, the show that ‘teach’ us to do that, and that is the thing you should do when you break-up. I’m not saying that you cannot feel sad, every ‘down’ you experient will be rewarded with an ‘up’. If you are drunk, how can you climb ‘up’?

It’s ok to feel sad, but learn something from it, reflect on yourself, there must be something that you’ve not been doing right or have been doing something wrong. Reflect and change, that is the only way to make your time, effort, and sadness worthy.

I’ve always hear this in movie, "Forget him/her." But I always tell people, how to forget someone that has bring you a lot of sweet memories, that has been part of your life? So don’t forget anyone in your life, just remember him/her in a different way, not as boy-friend or girl-friend. But as someone that has been part of your happy life.

Be strong my friend, send your best wishes to the one that you love so much but yet hurt you so much, don’t forget him or her, do not have any trace of hatred, not even a micro-gram(if it’s measurable). It’s not easy to achieve that, love was never meant to be easy. My last advice, prepare the worst, welcome the best.

I don’t write blogs often, that’s because I believe there’s no one out there that read blogs, if you are reading this, that means I’m wrong. Hehehe.

Anyway, just wanna update all my friends out there, I’ll go back to Sabah at the end of this year. Don’t ask me what kinda job I can find in Sabah, cause I don’t know and I don’t care, just let it be.

Em, what do I want to achieve in life? I’ve always wanted to have a happy family life, but 1st I need a great wife, and I’m on my way. But what keeps a family happy? Off course, love among every family members is the 1st and foremost things. Then comes money.

If you know me long enough, I’m the kinda easy come easy go person. I’ve been looking into my life for the past 1 year. I want to do something about it. When I tell people that I’m working in Motorola, they would say that it’s a big company and has a bright future ahead, well, I don’t quite agree on that.

You see, by being an employee, you earn an income, stable monthly income. Stable but not secure.  Easy but not sufficient.

Because the world is moving to globalization, and cost reduction. But how can you fight China, India and Vietnam in term of cheap labour cost? Sooner or later, those MNC company will leave Malaysia and go to those countries. Even if they don’t move out of Malaysia, they will want to hire less ppl to do more job. Again, it’s driven by cost reduction. Either one scenario, you will never know when they say ‘bye’ to you.

Even if you will not get the ‘red card’ from your company. Let’s say you are working in a MNC company with a ratio of 50 enginners to 1 manager. Besides working hard, you have to wash your boss’ shoe even harder. That’s why ppl said work smart, don’t work hard. A real smart worker only works for the boss, he only please the person that determine his increment. Ok, let’s set that aside now, and assume non of the above will ever happen. In an average working environment, you will have a 10% increment every year, and a fresh grad’s salary is around RM2.5k, let’s say you are among the best, and get RM3k. It takes you 6 years get RM5.3k from RM3k.

What else you can do in 6 years to earn RM5k? There’re alot of things to do, I believe you and me have a lot of idea in mind, but we dare not leave our work behind and go for it, that’s what we always hear, and it’s very true. Somemore we will have to start from scratch if we leave our job. Wait a minute, don’t we start from scratch when we start working? Just because the world teach us that working in a steady big company is the only way out doesn’t mean it’s always true.

When we were young, our parents always tell us to study hard, get a good result, then work in a big company, and become a manager. What if when we were young, our parents tell us to learn whatever we can, find out what we are interested at and do whatever we want as long as it’s something good. We might become somebody, instead of becoming a slave to those American MNC company.

Getting married very soon, so there’s a lot of things to take care of. Especially when we are in Penang but have to arrange things in KK and Alor Setar. Just went for a wedding photo session last Saturday, it’s very tiring. I believe it’s more tiring then playing a World Cup match, hahaha… It took us 13 hrs to complete the session, 10 sets of wedding gowns… We went there at 10am, took lunch at 3pm, finish the session at 11pm, then only "dinper" (dinner + supper). Wow, 1st time I change clothes also feel tired… But SyinNi will be more tiring la, coz every session have to make up, and change a new hair style.

But we’re very happy with the photographer, we took at least 300pcs of photo, and we can only select 42 of them, I believe it’ll be a very very very tough job. Anyway, I’ll post some pics here once I’ve got it, stay tune.

It’s my second blog posting, and actually, in between, there are alot of things to share, for example, the trip to HK, experience while participating in the 8TV Project Superstar, my change of job to Motorola. But what I’m going to share here is something BIG…. really BIG that it’ll affect my whole life.

I’m getting married….

To everything, there’s 4 W and 1 H. Which is Who, When, What, Where and How. Well, who??? You can just see it from the picture I posted in friendster. When??? Sometimes next year. What??? Of course about marriage. Where??? I’m planning it in both KK and AS. And as of How??? Well, that’s copyright, and I’ll only share if you also want to propose.

She’s always been with me for the past 4 yrs and 5 months. And with all the mixed of Sweet, Sour, Bitter and Spicy blend in this journey, I’ve decided to end this relationship and start a new chapter in my life, with the same girl. And this time, it’s not just dating, it’s marriage.

For alot of people, getting married at the age of 26 is very young, but believe it or not, that’s been in my planning since I was 16. I think the only person that knows about it would be Eric, if he ever remember. If I were to work in KK after my graduation, I would have proposed on this 9th Feb 2006, which is my fiancee’s birthday. I’ve been planning for a long time for this, and I’m glad to hear the ‘yes’.

I’m so happy that I couldn’t find a word to descrip this feeling I had. I just want to share with all of you out there that I’m getting married. And for the guys out there, sorry. You don’t stand a chance now. ^_^

Yes, u got it, I am the charming guy… Hehehe, too thick face hoh??? Ya that’s me..

Well, I can’t really tell u more about my 1st 12yrs experience. Only a dozen of girls went after me saja… That’s all…. hehehe…

Anyway, I always have trouble finding the ‘right’ kinda fren that can ‘click’ with me… Until when I was 15yrs old… Wah at that time ah… Suddently got alot of good frens… Let me catagories them… There are my HingDais, which consist of 10 not so charming guys except me… Hehehehe… Then there is a few Brotherhood that do all the crazy things together…

Ok, that’s all about my secondary school life…. Now it’s about another stage of my life… My Uni life.. Then I also found some ME (Mechanical Engineer) guys… I also dunno why, everytime form a team to play in football tournament sure use the name ME one… It’s fun to hang around with them, and without them I REALLY can’t graduate… I mean without their assignment ah… Hehehehe…

Then I met with my gf—>Little Angel…. Most of my course mate call them Ah Yi, for those that don’t know her REAL name, her name is Syin Ni… Even some ppl thought her name is Ah Yi, actually she happened to be one of my coursemate’s auntie… Ei, but don’t get me wrong ah, she’s not 30 something… And she’s younger than me… She’s such a beauty and she’s so understanding… it reminds me of the song ‘mou lai’(cantonese) by Ronald Cheng… I’m such a bad boy and she’s always there to forgive… And I know we’ll be together as long as there’s sky, as long as there’s water on land, as long as birds can fly………

And last but not least is my 2 stupid but cute doggiez…. Wah, they really too much la… Got once when I bring them to my room, they even sleep on my bed and thought the bed are for them… aiyo…. Anyway, life’s more interesting with these 2 doggiez….